Becoming a Man (Fathers and Sons Journey Together) and Odds and Ends

We had almost 100 men who got together for "Men's Night Out". The food was great, the fellowship was fun and congratulations to Tommy Ayers for winning the "Rock-Paper-Scissors" championship. Tommy, you are da' man!!

Next Tuesday, June 10, we start our six week series for fathers and sons "Becoming a Man" (A Father and Son Journey Together). In this six week period, fathers and sons will get the "nuts and bolts" of the noble masculinity that God designed us to experience. The format will look a lot like "Quest for Authentic Manhood". The emphasis will focus on God's design of men, the contrast between Adam and Christ and embracing a Biblical definition of masculinity. I think this will be a great time to give sons and fathers an opportunity to interact about manhood in a safe environment.

In addition to this six week summer series, we will be preparing for our Fall kickoff for part 2 of Men's Fraternity, "Winning at Work and Home". Whereas "Quest" provides a foundation for healthy masculinity, "Winning at Work and at Home" provides practical direction about living out God-given masculinity in two of the places men spend the most time. You are encouraged to bring your friends, even if they missed out on "The Quest for Authentic Manhood". If they will stay with it, we will get them through that foundational truth.

I am hearing good reports about small groups still getting together and encouraging each other. Keep it up! We weren't designed to go it alone.

In the journey with you,

Reggie

Congratulations

On Tuesday, April 8, we graduated 133 men who went through "The Quest for Authentic Manhood" and developed a Manhood Plan. Way to go men!! I am so proud of you.

So where do we go from here? First of all, I think men need to keep meeting with other men during interim before we begin "Winning at Work and at Home". I encourage you to get together with the men in your small groups regularly for encouragement and accountability. My two small groups (one in the AM and one in the PM) plan on meeting on Tuesday, April 22 to discuss how we can continue to support and encourage each other.

Secondly, if you have not done so, share your Manhood plan with your wife. Let her ask you questions about your journey and help her understand what helped you. Also, choose one of the "25 Ways to be a Servant-Leader" and put it into practice with your wife.

Thirdly, plan on continuing with Men's Fraternity. We will offer "Winning at Work and at Home" in the Fall beginning on September 15. For those with sons mid-high school and older, we will offer a 6 week opportunity "Becoming a Man" (A Father and Son Journey Together) beginning on Tuesday, June 10. You can sign-up in the foyer or call the church office (692-4251). The format and content will be similar to "The Quest for Authentic Manhood".

I look forward to continuing the Journey with you!

Reggie

Finishing Well

As we approach these last sessions of Men's Fraternity, I want to encourage you to finish well. What does finishing "The Quest for Authentic Manhood" well mean? I think it means at least 2 things. First of all, it means that you complete your "Manhood Plan". As Robert Lewis says, we cannot get where we need to go without a plan to get there. Remember that your "Manhood Plan" is for you. It helps you focus your life on the things that you need to do to live more authentically. The second thing finishing well means is that you continue to process your life with your small group. Each of us needs a "band of brothers" with whom to share our journey.

I have made an adjustment in our schedule for the last few weeks. The new schedule is as follows:

Tuesday, March 18- Spring Break: We will not meet

Tuesday, March 25- Session 23: Fathers and Daughters

Tuesday, April 1- Session 24: A Man and His Life Journey (Turn in a copy of your "Manhood Plan" to Reggie and be ready to
share your plan with your small group in discussion time).

Tuesday, April 8- Men's Fraternity Graduation Celebration

Have a great Spring Break and I will see you on Tuesday, March 25.

On the journey with you,

Reggie

A Definition of Manhood- The First Component

As Robert Lewis begins constructing a compelling definition of manhood, he starts with the need for a man to reject passivity. In his book, "The Silence of Adam", Larry Crabb agrees when reflects on Adam's passivity during Eve's temptation. "But Adam said nothing. He stood there, heard and watched the whole thing, and didn't say a word. He failed his woman. He failed, in his first spiritual struggle, to represent God. He failed as a man! The silence of Adam is the beginning of every man's failure, from the rebellion of Cain to the impatience of Moses, from the weakness of Peter down to my failure yesterday to love my wife well....The result is what we see every day: sexual passions out of control, uninvolved husbands and fathers, angry men who live to be in the driver's seat. And it all began when Adam refused to speak." Or to say it another way, it all began when Adam went "passive".

If we are going to pursue noble masculinity, the kind of masculinity that God created us to experience, the first step will be to take a truthful look at our own lives and see where passivity has taken roots. It may be in how a man relates to God or how he treats his wife or his disengaged parenting or in how he cares for his body. Where ever we have let passivity take roots, we must identify it and reject it.

Is rejecting passivity crucial? Absolutely! That becomes obvious when we look to Christ, the 2nd Adam who actively did everything His Father told Him to do. Whereas the first Adam sinned in large part due to his passivity, the 2nd Adam succeeded by obeying the will of his father.

Passivity's impact is lot like the effect of termites on a house. Passivity eats away at the substance of our lives unless identified and rejected. How are you doing in facing your passivity?

In the journey with you,

Reggie

Let's Saddle Up for the 2nd Half!

"When do we start back?"

I get this question when I see guys who have gone through the first half of Men's Fraternity. A number of men have said how much they have missed getting together on Tuesdays over the last month.

Well, we start back on Tuesday, January 15th. The morning group will start back at 6:00 a.m. and the evening group will start back at 7:00 p.m.

If you have friends or teenage sons (16 or older) who missed the first half, sign them up and bring them on. Even though they missed the "look back" they will still benefit from what's ahead. They will have a chance later to work through what manhood looks like and begin to address their own lives.

Some guys may feel they missed too many meetings in the first half and may not think they can come back If you know someone like that, reassure them that they can pick up where we start in the 2nd half and it will be worth their while.

I know I am looking forward to getting back in the saddle and riding on in "The Quest for Authentic Manhood" and I hope you are too.

In the journey with you,

Reggie

Here We Go

Well, Men’s Fraternity is off and running.  I hope you men who have joined in find it to be beneficial and challenging as you pursue “authentic manhood”.  I know the value of “unpacking” and realize that every time I revisit my past, I find something else to address in my own life.  Having offered men’s groups for years in the past, I find a number of benefits to the Men’s Fraternity approach.

First of all, Men’s Fraternity is not a “churchy” meeting.  I have an interesting book entitled “Why Men Hate Church”.  In it, the author proposes that much of church life in many churches does not target their ministries for men.  Robert Lewis designed Men’s Fraternity to be a “man-friendly” place.  As he says, you can come to Men’s Fraternity because it is a safe place for men.

Another benefit to the Men’s Fraternity approach is that “The Quest for Authentic Manhood” helps you visit your past but not become a prisoner to your past.  Robert Lewis helps you work through those relationships and events that have shaped us as men so we can freely pursue the masculinity according to how we have been designed.

I also like the fact that men can get together with other men in  small groups and as we discuss the lesson, we realize that we are not alone.  Other men face some of the same challenges and issues we do.  A number of men have commented to me that at first, they thought that  their issues were unique to them.  But after learning from Robert and hearing his story and the stories of those in their small groups, men understand that others have some of the same baggage they do.  

So, in the next few weeks, when the temptation gets strong to stay in bed (AM group) or stay home (PM group), put on your “warrior” face and continue the quest.  I believe you will be glad you did.

Feel free to post a comment.

Reggie